Pill Box, Tuesday, November 11, 2014

Have I ever mentioned how much I hate this pill box? Each week, I fill it up with pills. Each week, I'm reminded that forever I'll live on handfuls of pills to keep me sane. Each day, I choke down these handfuls of pills, cursing the fact that I have to take them. I hate this pill box.

Saturday, November 1, 2014

My days are pretty good now. It seems that Thursdays, however, seem to be my bad days. I always feel out of control and overwhelmed. I don't know why I feel that way on Thursdays, but there it is.

Matthew's birthday is in a week. I have his little party all planned out. We're having each set of grandparents come down and auntie H and uncle W come over. I'm making two roasts, mashed potatoes, carrots, and mac&cheese. Then I ordered a cake. I also have balloons that I ordered off ebay that WalMart will blow up. I'm not decorating much. I want to keep it small. I'm tired of trying to do huge birthdays and having them blow up in my face. And with so many birthdays around Matthew's birthday, it made sense just to keep it small anyway.

It was kinda funny that I was disappointed when this week's DBT group was canceled. I didn't realize that I'd already come to depend on the night out with others who were like me. *Like me* being the operative term in that sentence. I keep trying to do things with the Mom's Group, and I just feel so out of place. I don't know if it's my social anxiety or just that I'm not a likeable person, but I just can't seem to find my place in with the mom's group.