Saturday, March 25, 2017

I'm wiped. I'm trying to burn through laundry. The sheets, bedding, and towels really need to be done, and then Bryan "asked" me if I could do his laundry today. (I'm really assuming he needs work outfits.) I told him that on his days off, that's something that he could accomplish. I didn't add that he could do that rather than sitting and playing video games all day. I'm really frustrated with the whole deal of him living at home and not really doing much besides playing video games. He does less now than when he was in high school. At least when he was in high school he was doing chores AND going to school 7 hours a day. Now he barely does any chores and we're lucky if he works 4 hours a day. Okay, enough bitching about that. I'm just feeling frustrated because I think he should be handling his own shit by now, when there's still a serious part of me that wonders if there's something more going on with him other than bi-polar disorder. (ASD?)

Tea's got dance pictures coming up this week, then the recital is in 4 weeks. She's missed a lot of dance this year due to headaches and stomachaches. She really hasn't been feeling well this year. I attribute a lot of it to stress and depression. I'm not sure if she's going to do dance again next year, at least at the studio. She wants to do danceline at school, and the doctor said she has to choose one or the other, school or studio, due to the injuries in her ankle. I also told her that if she dances at school, she can't do all the dance lines (I think it's competition, hip hop, and basketball); she has to choose one or two. It's just too much strain on her ankle to do all three. So we'll see what she decides to do. I think a part of her wants to do it at school because she wants to letter in something and get a letterman's jacket. I don't blame her. I always wanted one, too. I would love to make that happen for her.

Times are tough financially again, as I knew they would be. That's what happens when it comes time to pay the credit cards that I was living off of. Nick hasn't been getting as many hours at work as he was, either, because his knee pain has been so bad. I've been learning how to adjust, again, to making things work with a lower income. It just means saying "no" a lot more. I hate that. I drink more coffee at home, I'll tell  you that much. Which is probably a lot easier since my favorite coffee place went out of business due to the owner dealing with her health instead.

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

I signed up for Weight Watchers about 3 weeks ago. I got a free Fitbit Flex 2 when I signed up. It seems to capture me sleeping more than anything else. Man, do I sleep a lot! Anywhere from 12 to 15 hours is what I'm sleeping a day! I'm not depressed; I just feel so tired all of the time. I've also been having some stomach problems and migraines. Allergies have been bad this year, too. I've been hoping to give blood, but they want you feeling 100%, and I am just not there. I can't pinpoint the last time I've been there.

Matthew's school is recording how many fruits and vegetables they try each day. He's really into it. Mind you, he eats the same thing every day, but he loves making the little check marks in the circles that he's eating some type of fruit or vegetable (mainly fruit). We've had a lot more fruits and vegetables in the house since I joined WW.

I'm still working my OA journey, although I have to admit, I've stalled out on my fourth-step inventory. With the migraines, I haven't been able to look at a computer screen. I did go in and get my eyes checked, and my glasses need an updated prescription. Hopefully, I'll get that at the beginning of April. Anyway, OA journey. It's much easier to have a food plan now that I'm in WW, because I've got the points keeping me in a range I should be in, whereas before when I thought I was eating good, I was still eating more than I should have been. It was eye opening when I entered in my normal OA food for a day into the WW points calculator.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Matthew has been spreading his wings these past few days, and it's been especially trying behavior wise. He was up at 2:30 the other morning. I took him downstairs, but I fell back to sleep when he didn't. I'm not sure what time it was when he went back upstairs to get dressed, but he also got into the paint at that time, and everything was black! Thankfully, the paint is just the type I use for doing my canvas paintings, so it washed off with Clorox wipes. Well, most of it did. There's a wall I'm going to have to repaint. I had to give Matthew a shower and wash paint off him, and I'm hoping that the paint will come out of his clothes as well. Nick was NOT happy, but at least he helped me clean up. I wonder if he was remembering the cat box incident and how much trouble Matthew can get into when you can't stay awake with him.

Nick had an MRI done on his knee. The doctor at the follow-up appointment basically told him that his job is putting too much stress on his knee. He ordered a month of PT, and then another follow-up if it's not feeling better. I really have a dislike for these doctors. They talk about getting Nick off the pain meds and getting him into PT, and all these things do is make Nick have more pain. They say he should switch occupations. Why? So he can go back to school, be in debt with student loans, and have even more of an uncertain future? We've talked about options like that. It's just not realistic.

Wednesday, March 1, 2017

The depression has totally lifted. Now I've just been battling a rotten head cold for the past week. It's actually had me in bed for several days. I was grateful for the kids and Nick to watch over Matthew over the weekend. I couldn't keep my eyes open.

Matthew has still be kind of regressed with his language and behaviors. He uses some odd words that we don't know what they mean. "Worm," "owl," and "hamburger shopping" are the three that we have no idea what he's talking about when he uses them. He's pretty insistent we should know what he means, though. He's been doing a lot of babbling these past two days, too. I'm not really sure what's going on.

I found out that Tea takes her lunch and sits out in the hallway at school and reads a book. I was so sad when I learned this. I remember having a big group of friends that I sat with at lunch in ninth grade. I feel sad that she doesn't have any friends to sit with. Nick says, on the positive side, she's reading.