Friday, August 25, 2017

With our lives so very different now, and Matthew's schedule all thrown off, he's getting hard to handle. He doesn't go to any type of therapy anymore. Nick is home with him all the time and now I work part-time. His days are all messed up. He's becoming super mouthy and argumentative. I feel horrible, because we were getting it all set up that he was going to have ABA therapy starting in September, and now that's going to be put off until we can find out if we're even going to have any type of insurance. Then it would have to be approved. So we're looking at another month, at least, until anything can be done. I feel like he's going to be in limbo. And I'm so angry. I'm angry at a system that's letting a little boy get lost because there's no way to pay for his care. I'm angry at Nick for getting fired. I'm angry at myself because I feel like I'm a failure as a mother. I'm angry at the world just because. I'm angry at being alive. I'm just angry.