The older kids and I went out to Maryland for our research study at NIH. It was so fast this time. We flew in on Thursday night. The plane got in at 11 pm, and by the time we caught a cab and got checked in at the Children's Inn, it was 12:30 am. I know I got to sleep around 1 am, but I think the kids got to sleep even later than me. Friday morning Tea and I were up by 7:30 because she was starving. They had a breakfast set up in the atrium. Just a simple breakfast like you'd find at a smaller hotel - muffins, donuts, juices and milks, coffee, etc. Bryan didn't wake up until 8:45, and we didn't get out the door until 9:15. We got up to the clinic at 9:29, which was perfect for our 9:30 appt. All day it was going through interviews for me. I had to answer a buttload of questions on both kids and then some on me. We were done by 4 pm, so we went back to the Children's Inn and the kids played in the teen room. We also ordered Chinese from the place we get Chinese at when we go out there for dinner that night. And after 3 years of staying at the Children's Inn, I finally figured out how to use the tv in the room. So that night we had the tv on, the kids played poker, and I filled out more paperwork that had to be done for the next day. Friday night I think we were all asleep by 10 pm. On Saturday we were up to the clinic for scanning by 8:30 am. We had MRIs until 1:30 pm. It was tiring. Tea had a lot of anxiety about the scanning, so I sat in the MRI room with her and kept my hand on her leg or foot when she scanned the first time. OMG, did I get an instant headache. And my body felt weird. After about half-an-hour of Tea being in the scanner and my being just in the room, it was my turn in the scanner. I didn't feel as bad in the scanner, but my headache never truly did go away. Tea had to go in the scanner again after we had lunch, but she didn't insist I go into the scanning room with her that time; I was able to sit in the room next to it. She did good. There was the anxiety attack before the first scan, but she did much better before her second scan. I was nervous for the flight home. We weren't assigned seats until we got to the gate at the airport, and I was a bit freaked that we weren't going to have seats together. And I was seeing suspicious people everywhere. My anxiety was high on the way home; it was ridiculous. But it was nice to get home.
So now we're back to the everyday of being home. I have to admit, it was really nice to be away and be super busy. I look at my home and I want to crawl back to bed and just sleep and do nothing. Nick cleaned and rearranged the living room while I was gone. He also cleaned the floors in the dining room. But it gets dirty so quickly, and I just don't feel like keeping up with it. I did manage to go over the floors in the dining room again with the Swiffer this morning because Brock shit on the floor, but then the dogs ran in with muddy paws and it looks like I didn't do anything. I picked up the toys in the living room, but I just don't feel like vacuuming.
I ask myself if I'm depressed, and I think I am. I ask myself if I eat because I'm depressed, but I just don't know. Tonight I'll be going to my first meeting of Overeaters Anonymous. I'm hoping that it'll help me. I was told that I'll get the newcomers materials, and hopefully it'll help me to read those materials and see where I'm going from here. I don't want a weight loss plan; I want a life change.
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