I set my alarm to wake up early today. I got the living room floor vacuumed and had quiet time to myself before Matthew woke up. It was nice and peaceful. It made me feel relaxed. It was a great feeling. Then I had to wake up the other kids. What a stress. I ended up taking Matthew to the park and got coffee to kill some time. I didn't want to come home. I get so tired of arguing with Tea. This morning's argument was about the fact that I set up an opportunity for her to learn how to use some of the cardio machines at the gym tomorrow. Apparently she doesn't want to. I don't care. I think it's good for her to learn how to do those things in case we ever want to go work out as a family. And it's not going to kill her to not hang out with her 16-year-old friends and hang out with her family. I'm still not pleased about the fact that she has 16-year-old friends. That's just too old for a 12-year-old girl.
So now I'm relaxing in my room. I have a pleasant candle going, I'm laying in the dark, and I have my soap opera on. I have to do a check in with my therapist here within the next hour or so, and I'd like it to be a relatively relaxed check in. I'm not feeling depressed, just irritable. I'm not feeling as anxious as I was yesterday (and believe me, anxiety basically overtook my entire body yesterday).
So Mommyhood today basically consists of hiding in my room. Some great mother I am, huh?
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