My mom is here again this week. I'm still having a lot of "not wanting to get out of bed and cope like a normal human being" behavior issues, but I'm getting there. I meet with my PN Jill tomorrow, and we'll see what she has to say about how she thinks I'm doing from last week. At least I don't feel like I'm dead or like I want to be dead. There's something to be said for that.
I often wonder how we put in another addiction when we give up one addiction. Because I can totally see me replacing food with gambling. Over the weekend, my sister and I hit the casino. I lost bad, but I had such a good time doing it, and I just would have kept putting more and more money in if I had it. I can see me taking all my money each month and just going to the penny slots and blowing it. It's a better high than eating, which leaves me sick to my stomach. But gambling leaves me sick in another way, like knowing that I put money in a machine that I meant to use for buying milk and eggs, and now I have nothing for that.
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