Saturday, August 15, 2015

I find I do a lot of breathing exercises and closing my eyes (even though I don't actually count to ten or anything) to try and calm myself. I can't tell you how much I actually feel like screaming throughout the day. I get so frustrated with the kids, even though they are at such different stages. Matthew uses me as a human jungle gym. Tea uses me as her personal verbal whipping post. And Bryan? Well, Bryan is just really trying to exert his independence and it's coming out in big explosions that are difficult to deal with. I worry with this being Bryan's last year of school and how he's going to transition into the "real" world. He's so hesitant to get a license, and he needs a license to get a job (because my butt will NOT be carting him everywhere). With us, he argues every correction we give him. How is he going to handle a correction in a job? He gets fed up with things so easily and will quit. That's not going to fly in a job. I'm trying to set up with his IEP plan to get him some extra help transitioning out of high school. I want to make sure that he has the best possible chance. I know I've been overprotective of the kid his whole life, and I probably always will be, but he saved me when I got pregnant with him. If it weren't for him, I would have ended up doing something so stupid that I'd be dead right now. I was on the road to nowhere before getting pregnant with him. There's so much I learned after I got pregnant with Bryan, and there's so much I did on my own, and I'll never be able to repay him for giving me that gift.