Sunday, February 7, 2016

It's a dark day. It's been full of dark days lately. The anxiety won't go away and the depression won't seem to lift. I feel like a teenager, like only music understands me. I stood in the shower contemplating ways to hurt myself. So I soaked under the warm water and cried. I find it so hard to do anything except sleep. Last spring was like this, too. I don't know what it is about this time of year. Yes, I do.It's been 4 years since Tonia died. It's been 4 years since we lost the baby. Jaxon is 6 years old. And I don't care what his name is, he will always be Jaxon. Oh my God, my heart hurts so bad.