It's been a couple of days. A couple of days of madness locked up inside of my head, silent screams that won't come out, dreaming of ways of hurting myself that I can't bear to do because I'm too much of a wimp, wishing I were dead but knowing I'll live forever because I just want to be dead that bad.
I started another IOP adapted DBT program today. I don't want to be there. I just want to be curled up in bed and letting everyone else take care of things. But I know I can't let other people take care of me forever. Or maybe I could. What would be wrong with that?
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