I'm a hot mess today. I couldn't manage to make it to DBT today. I called in and tried to quit, but they didn't go for that. They told me that they'd excuse me for today, but to come in on Thursday and talk to my psychiatric nurse and see where to go from there. I'm a mess. I can't think about going there without crying. I keep having panic attacks. Part of me wonders, do I belong in the hospital, or do I just need to get away for a weekend? I guess we'll see after I talk to Jill tomorrow.
I keep trying to remember that I've made it through things much worse than this before. I've been suicidal, depressed, manic, etc. But this anxiety thing is something that I've never really experienced before. I mean, I've had my specific panic attacks over certain things - bridges, water, etc. But this is something new for me. It's like I have anxiety over everything. I can't breathe. It's awful.
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