Tuesday, February 9 2016

It's days like today that I plan out my demise. I can't stand being alive, and I just want to go to the nothingness that is being dead. I had enough tonight when Matthew wouldn't let me change a poopy diaper (can we say breaking point) and left the house, no coat, no shoes, just the keys. I drove around for about an hour until I was cooled down to the point that I knew I could just go home. On that drive, part of me was considering going to the hospital and having them lock me up. The other part of me was considering jumping off one of the major bridges into the ice/freezing water. I don't know who I am right now. I don't know where I am or where I belong.