I started my intensive outpatient program today. What can I say? I want to be back with my regular therapist, seeing my psychiatric nurse, doing my own thing during the day. I don't want to give up these three hours every day. I know it was just my first day. I know I was a nervous, anxiety riddled mess. I hope that each day gets better. As of now, I want to quit. I don't like all the thinking I have to do. It's a pain to have to change my negative thinking into something positive. I know that I can do it, but I'm just not there yet. And I just don't feel ready to be there yet. I feel like screaming, "Don't rush me, people!"
I ended up coming home and napping. Today was downright exhausting. I was lucky that Mouse fell asleep on the way home, too. Aunty Holly must have worn him out, because he took a nap at her house, then took another nap at home. He hasn't taken two naps in forever.
So, anyway, I'll go again tomorrow, and the day after that, and I'll keep giving it a chance, hoping I feel better about the whole program. And hopefully my mood will improve and I'll start to feel better, and these blog entries will start to become more upbeat.
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