It's been a struggle since I got home. I've been home for 10 days now, and I've been experiencing a lot of anger and irritability. I really don't feel like myself. I'm no longer as depressed as I was, but I just don't feel right. My therapist and psychiatric nurse feel that I need a higher level of care, and I'm going to be starting an Intensive Outpatient Program on Tuesday. I'm frustrated with myself that I can't just go back to being normal. Everything feels like it's a huge effort. I can't even type anymore without making a ton of mistakes, which is beyond frustrating for me. I'm hoping that IOP will connect me with others who are going through what I am and help me feel so not alone.
Holly is going to be watching Matthew while I go to my IOP program, but there's such a huge part of me that feels guilty for asking her to do this for me. I feel like I should get him involved in a daycare center. I feel like it would be beneficial for him, and it would be a break for her. I guess we'll see how these first few weeks go before we make any hard and fast decisions.
Amanda, since I became pregnant with Aussie, I too have felt "different" for lack of a better word. I cant get out of the funk I'm in. I feel like I'm running outside of my body actually. Sleepy, depressed, cant focus, cant function. It sucks. I feel for ya...I hope IOP works well, and fast!
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